Thursday, August 16, 2012

Eva Update

Eva is up on the rescue site for adoption. Turns out she has a vitamin deficiency. I have very conflicting feelings. I'm thrilled for Eva. I feel guilty. I'm sad, devastated, heartbroken and yet happy. I'm angry. I'm sad that Eva isn't here, she's not my dog anymore, I have no say and no way to make her mine again. I'm happy that she has a manageable condition and will live a long, happy, healthy life. I'm happy she is finally getting treatment. I'm happy because I know I made the right choice and if she was still here she would still be sick since we simply don't have the funds to have done all the testing the rescue did .

That being said, I'm angry. Angry I got handed a sick, poorly bred puppy that I fell in love with. Angry that instead of getting answers, the organization she was through just dumped her and didn't care enough to get answers. Angry that I was given information I believed and caused me to not push for testing of other things. Guilty that I didn't have the resources to get her the help she needed 3 years ago.

Eva will go to a wonderful, loving family and live a long, happy, healthy life. That's what matters. I wish I could have given it to her but I guess I did, in a way. I gave her the chance to get healthy in another way when I couldn't provide it.

Saturday, August 04, 2012

Random Update

This blog is a bit neglected but I wanted to update everyone who doesn't read my other blog.

The big news is that we are currently dog-less. Eva is ok, as far as we know, but we had to make the very difficult decision to release her to a golden retriever rescue. We are not in a financial position to get a bunch of testing done on her to figure out exactly what is wrong with her and therefore treat it. We never expected to be in that position, she wasn't expected to live to be a year old, much less be knocking on the door of 4. The vets before said it was her kidneys and/or cancer but last we talked to them they said it was neither and wanted to do more testing. We felt the best thing we could do is send her to a rescue who will find out exactly what's wrong and then either keep her in a permanent foster home or adopt her out to a fully informed family. I miss my sweet golden girl but know we did the right thing for her.

We presented Comet at the CAST graduation in June. She hadn't yet be re-matched with a family but I got an email a couple days ago from her new family! She's doing well and looks so happy with her girl!

As far as future puppy raising, I'm thinking that in about 6 months I will ask to be put on a waiting list for either a full lab or full poodle. I love the idea of a lab, Loden was my last labby and I miss having a solid dog on the end of my leash. On the other hand, I would love a poodle! I think they are amazing dogs and need to give one a chance to change my husbands mind about them.

As far as people updates, my baby boy is quickly approaching his first birth day. Although we don't celebrate birthdays, I can't believe how fast the time has gone and how much my little man amazes me, brings me joy, makes the world a better place. He's so funny, intelligent, stubborn and beautiful. I'm working on a first year video of him. He's almost walking, has a taken a couple steps unassisted so far.

I started a new weight loss goal yesterday. I'm so sick of feeling sick from the junk I eat and being fat. I want to be healthy for myself, my family and my future. So I plan on working out everyday and eating better. No actual diet plan, just striving to be a better, healthier me.

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

New blog addy

I'm still needing to get posts moved over but my new blog is up and running. Feel free to follow and comment!

Friday, February 03, 2012

Combining Blogs

I'm going to be combining my blogs, I have to many to manage and not enough time to write seperate updates. I'm going to check out some other blogging sites and see what address the blogs will be moved to. I'll keep you posted!

Got Milk?

Breastfeeding is something very important to me. I want to give Carter the best start to life that I can. Breast milk is full of nutrients, vitamins, antibodies and everything else he needs. There's nothing processed in it, nothing that will hurt him (given I avoid gluten, if he does have Celiac) and it's free. It started out so easy for us, he was a great baby to nurse, albeit he wanted to nurse all.the.time! He gained weight at the proper rate, hit his milestones correctly, got rid of his jaundice and overall just thrived. Then we moved in with our friends, I stopped taking care of myself the way I needed to to take care of him properly. I didn't eat enough and my milk supply suffered. Who knows, it may just be how Carter is, but his weight gain plummeted. Then, I got a job. We moved into our own apartment and I started eating better. My milk supply started to increase, but not enough for a good pumping output. See, there's a difference between nursing a baby and pumping out milk to feed to your baby. The hormone reaction is different, the emotions are different, the mechanics are different. Sure, the end result is similar, baby is still getting Mommy's Milk, but it is so so different. Carter was eating more than I could pump at work and so we had to supplement his feedings when I was gone with formula. To be honest, it kinda killed me a little inside, and it still does. Carter is my son, my baby. I'm supposed to feed him, I have everything he needs. (Side point: I don't look down on those who choose, for whatever the reason may be, to formula feed their baby.) That being said, I just didn't have the milk to give him. Our nursing relationship when I was home continued to improve and be amazing! He still nursed often and for longer periods of time. He helped get my milk supply back. In one month, he gained over a pound. Formula packs pounds on babies, who knows if the weight gain was from that or from my milk or both. It sure did make me feel guilty though for that month where I wasn't giving him what he needed.

That's the past. 5 days out of the week, Carter has been getting formula after he drinks all the pumped milk I left for him. BUT! That's about to change. I have a goal and I'm going to reach that goal. I have two more weeks to reach it, it started this week. My goal is that when Carter turns 6 months old he will be back to getting exclusively breastmilk! Of course, that's the same time he's going to be starting solids but no more formula. My milk supply is much better, back where it should be. My goal this week was to get it down to 4 days that he would get formula, I DID IT! He didn't get a drop of formula on Monday! My goal for next week is 3 days of him getting formula. I plan on talking to work and taking two breaks, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, to pump. Not only will it help get Carter off formula but it will help up my supply even more. I have been getting up in the middle of the night to pump, I pump on my lunch break, I pump when I get home and I pump in the morning before work. No matter how much I pump, there's still enough for Carter to eat since the pump can't empty the breast like a baby can.

I'm hoping by adding in the pumping sessions that I'll be able to pump enough to have a stash of expressed milk in the freezer again, especially since I'm going to have to have surgery at some point.

For now though, I'm just going to work my hardest to give my adorable baby boy the best possible start to life I can, and that's by giving him the food God designed just for him!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Update time!

Comet graduated! Ok, not as a working service dog, but she is helping a little boy with autism who loves her. She is what is known as a "PAL". Similar to GDB's K9-buddy program. We drove down and met her new family and think she's in the perfect home. I miss the little spitfire but am so thankful she's where she is. She didn't make it as a service dog due to her alarm barking. She's still a success in my book!

Eva is doing good. This summer was tough on her, we thought it was time for her to go, the vet refused and gave us expensive options or told us we could rehome her. Turns out she likely has an environmental allergy that flares in the summer time and makes her miserable. A cortisone shot helped for about two weeks. I'm not sure what we're going to do next summer, looks like some spendy testing is going to be needed since the vet also said he doesn't think she has chronic kidney failure or cancer.... *le sigh* I love the goofy golden though.

As for puppy raising, it really depends. Carter is going to be becoming mobile in the coming months and we'll see how our lives change with that one. Our new apartment would work well for raising, as would my job, just have to see how well a pup would fit in with an infant. I have a bug out though, that we may be interested, so we'll see how well the timing of the next litter works for us. :-)