Journey

Being a raiser for three (will be four) different schools and having looked into many more, I feel that almost all schools appreciate their raisers and honor them for what they do and there seems to be a consensus on what rights the raisers have. My journey may be different then most puppy raisers, but it is my personal journey and all I can do is learn from it and grow, and cherish the memories!

As a raiser, we go through a journey with each and every puppy. Most journeys overlap, there are extreme highs and lows, often on the same day. It is a one of a kind journey, taking about a year or more for each individual journey to make up our overall journey. It all starts when we take these adorable little puppies into our homes that we have so much hope for. It's is an extreme high in puppy raising, one of the "highest", if you will. We are handed (or scoop up) this adorable little fluff-ball with large eyes and soft ears and feet that can't possibly belong to this little thing! We start potty-training and crate training and bonding right away.

As the days fade into weeks which quickly warp into months we watch that little fuzz-ball morph into a dog with his own personality, likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. We have days where our little guy makes us so proud, like being told "I didn't know there was a dog in here!" Then there are days where we say, or at least feel, "this dog will never make it." We work through it all, ride the rollercoaster no matter how often or badly we feel we are going to throw-up.

Our little puppy grows into maturity, learning commands and taking every socialization in stride without a fearful glance or subtle change in body language. Our little pup is now a mature, wonderfully well-rounded dog that will make it in formal training to be a working dog. Sometimes.

Sometimes our little puppies don't want to work. Sometimes our little puppies are never confident, they are never well-rounded, never solid. Sometimes, our little puppies, just want to be puppies. It is all part of the journey. It all adds to their life and it all adds to the person we are.

Whichever way our puppy raising journey ends with each puppy, their journey continues as does ours. They are just often times separate now, at least for a time. Maybe the puppy goes into formal training where we get updates on our lovely. We wait anxiously to hear how they are, or just see what kennel they are in or what phase of training they are in. We wait for word on graduation, breeder evals or career change. Maybe our puppy is career changed in home and we choose to keep this puppy as our pet. Our journey together continues, just in a different way. Perhaps, our puppy becomes a breeder, we keep them as a breeder caretaker and help bring many more prospective service dogs into the world. If, ultimately, our puppy graduates, their journey is now so much greater then us. It is about keeping their person safe, about making their life fuller, freer and better. Whichever way our journey ends, and their journey ends up, it is generally right.

Sometimes, the dog isn't heard. Sometimes, we fight for our puppy for months to make sure they are heard. Sometimes, they aren't. The dog is forced to do something they don't love, they don't want to do. If they are forced to work, it may work for a time. It may blossom into something beautiful for a time. It will never, never, result in a beautiful working relationship between a human and their canine partner. It is heartbreaking. You know that dog that was with you 24/7 for months. If you pay attention, that dog communicates with you, everyday. You just have to listen. That puppy has told you what they want. You feel betrayed, taken advantage of and humiliated.

 Sometimes, we have to fight to keep our heads up and move on to give our heart to another puppy. Sometimes, it ruins us as raisers. It's heartbreaking, like nothing else in this world. We move on, eventually. We open our hearts, our homes and our life to another puppy. Maybe this puppy will renew our love of raising, maybe, just maybe, we will find the joy in it again.

Where am I in my journey? I'm in a valley, no, I'm in a canyon with large, sheer walls surrounding me. I'm trying desperately to climb out. I feel betrayed, hurt and worthless as a raiser. I've had some awful experiences with dogs, raisers and organizations. I have a scar on my leg from a dogs tooth, an accidental bite, but none-the-less, a bite. I have scars on my heart from being betrayed, pushed down and stomped on by "friends" that attack in the most hurtful ways. I will climb out though. When things come crashing down around you, all you can do is find a way through or over, under or around to continue on your journey. We all hit a point where our journey could be over, where we have every reason in the world to quit, except one. Our love. Love of people, helping, puppies, helping people with our loves of puppies. No matter how knocked down we are, no matter how little of our heart we have left in our chest instead of attached to dog hair all over the continent, our love is what keeps us going, keeps us giving. It is the basis of this journey.

College Life

Since this is Charlie's blog and I would like a place to tell you all about my journey as a college student and reaching our goals to add to our family, I changed my personal blog to public. Feel free to take a gander and let me know what you think!

Mom - don't worry, no babies for us right now! *wink* It's at least 2.5 years away! I love you!

http://futurecrawford.blogspot.com/

College Students

I will be attending college starting January, something I've been wanting to do for awhile but that I got a push to do last week, circumstances being what they are, it just seems like the right choice for us at this point in our lives.

Charlie is going to continue going to work with Max and Ally and will likely come to class with me. He's going to be a working student! All at 9 months old! He really is one amazing pup and I know will choose the future that he wants. He would make one amazing service dog, but would also make one incredible pet for someone.

Last Friday, Charlie's last day of work with me, was a long day for the little guy. We worked from 6 am to 2:30 pm and then went to our in-laws for dinner. He did bark once there because he wanted to play with their mini doxies that wanted nothing to do with him. He was really good besides that though and settled down nicely under the dining room table while we ate and we worked on "my lap" there as well.

After dinner we went to an auction. We walked around and looked at what they had and then took our seats. There was another doxie (standard) there that Charlie was focusing on and wanted to play with, thankfully he didn't bark at this one! At the auction there are concrete floors so he got pretty cold so he got to lay on a blanket and was covered in one as well. He did amazing on our long day and is just one incredible boy!

Pictures to come soon! Back to planning my winter term though!

What's Going On?

What is going on in our household right now? Read it here. If you aren't a reader and would like to be, let me know.

I have an update on Charlie I need to post, just can't seem to get motivated at the moment to post it. He is doing well though.

Bring Gannon Home!

This story scares the willies out of me and I've never met three-month-old black lab "Gannon" from GDB. Gannon has been missing since Friday, I can't imagine the pain his family is going through, let alone this little pup! Please, help spread the world of little Gannon and if you are in the area, please help find him!

GDB's posting

Evett

Although Evett was only here for four weeks total in her time as a service dog in training, I love her. She was my big girl and I knew her, very well. When I decided to give her back to JLAD, in part, it was because of the problems she was having while working were severe enough to make me seriously uncomfortable with working her.

Evett is a doll of a dog, would make one heck of a pet! She just wasn't cut out for service work, I knew it, she knew it, we just had to wait for others to know it too. Evett is not being offered back to me, although I was a raiser of hers. I was not told she was career changed, I had to read it on a blog just like the rest of you.

That makes both pups I raised for JLAD career changed. If it were up to me (and I had a bigger house with a fenced in yard) both my special girls would be home with me. At least I have the lovely Eva sitting at my feet!

Here are some pictures of Evett's time with me, I miss the big, beautiful, loving girl! Evett, where ever you end up, may you always be heard and loved, the way you deserve to be!

Eva - One Year

For those of you not invited to read my private blog, here's a quick little update on Eva.

Eva is a pleasure to have. It's been a long journey, full of heartbreak, lawyers, betrayal, fear, love, fun, shut-downs, pounces, wrestling, walks and many many hours spent cleaning up.

Eva has been here for ten months and this is where she belongs, obviously. She is happy, loved and loves. Eva is my baby girl and she's known it since day one, just as I have. I never thought sweet little Eva would live past 3 months, here she is now a beautiful, healthy (relatively, of course), fun-loving one year old dog! It's still a weird feeling having her home as a pet at this point.

With puppy raising, one year is a big step! Generally there is a a recall date or a soon impending recall date. You know the dog at this point and are intune with them and know when too much is too much or something is boring or scary from body language. You know this dog, you can depend on them, they can depend on you and there is a deeply instilled trust and love there. You know for the most part if their personality is stable enough and suited for the work you are raising them for. Of course, there can be surprises, but spending 10 months with a dog 24/7, you know them and can read their potential. Our puppies tell us, from the beginning generally, what they want to do. Whether they are suited for service work or not. After having them for so long, we know them, we know (again, for the most part) where they belong and it hurts when people who don't know them the same way make choices about their future without our input.

Eva, was one of those cases, just in a different way. I Knew, when she was 11 weeks old, that she was done as a service dog, those two weeks of training nearly killed her. We were not heard. Eva was put through many more "classes" and outings that she had no interest in and made evident. She would shut-down, refuse to look at me and not respond. She hated it. For the next nearly 5 months, she was forced to work and she was miserable. The girl that is in my home and heart forever now is a completely different dog then she was when she was being forced to work. She is a care-free, stress-free, loving, fun-loving girl that loves life and we love everyday she chooses to bless us with.

Somedays are messy, sometimes she drives me crazy, she can be annoying, loud, rough and just all around a bad dog. But that's her right, she endured so much that she hated early in life, I permit her to let loose every one in a while! *wink*

So Eva, at one year, had a very bad day yesterday. Hopefully she doesn't continue to have bad days and decides to spend another year with us. My only wish is that she had her best friend by her side through all of this.