Eva is up on the rescue site for adoption. Turns out she has a vitamin deficiency. I have very conflicting feelings. I'm thrilled for Eva. I feel guilty. I'm sad, devastated, heartbroken and yet happy. I'm angry. I'm sad that Eva isn't here, she's not my dog anymore, I have no say and no way to make her mine again. I'm happy that she has a manageable condition and will live a long, happy, healthy life. I'm happy she is finally getting treatment. I'm happy because I know I made the right choice and if she was still here she would still be sick since we simply don't have the funds to have done all the testing the rescue did .
That being said, I'm angry. Angry I got handed a sick, poorly bred puppy that I fell in love with. Angry that instead of getting answers, the organization she was through just dumped her and didn't care enough to get answers. Angry that I was given information I believed and caused me to not push for testing of other things. Guilty that I didn't have the resources to get her the help she needed 3 years ago.
Eva will go to a wonderful, loving family and live a long, happy, healthy life. That's what matters. I wish I could have given it to her but I guess I did, in a way. I gave her the chance to get healthy in another way when I couldn't provide it.